Everything is f*cked — Mark Manson book summary 3/3

Newton, science as religion
Science is the only good thing that humanity has done for itself, being the only one responsible for the best inventions and advancements in history: medicine, agriculture, education and commerce. And it has created growth, which for almost all of humanity had not existed: in 2000 years the growth was equal to that of 6 months today. people spent their entire lives and didn’t change a shit, no developments, techs, inventions. people died working the same land with the same tools.
A shit life, and people were hoping for the future life.
People are starting to see things that are better and they don’t need religion.

How to be happy: according to nietzsche (amor fati)
accept life for what it is, ups and downs, things that make sense or not. Worship suffering, accept the suffering you have. shortens the distance between desires and reality by not desiring more but desiring reality.

Immanuel Kant 1750–1800
for 40 years every day wake up 5, write 3 hours, lesson 4 hours, lunch in the same restaurant. in order to be efficient.
The first in history to say that every person has dignity that must be respected.
Already in his time he spoke of global governance (which inspired UN), perception of space and time (inspired by Einstein), animal rights and the notion of beauty.
He was on the cock of popes and kings, and envied by academics.
Already in his time he said that you cannot treat a person as a purpose for your ends, and therefore honesty and virtue because you are not honest to exploit people.
And he said that the only way to improve the world is to improve ourselves by taking small steps every day. there is no hell or heaven, there are only our choices.
Quini kant criticizes religions but offers a better alternative, which is to make the dignity of each individual mature.

Children have no empathy, but fragile identities
children only understand that they want one thing, they have no empathy.
they have very fragile identities, as they avoid pain.
Teenagers think only of them, they are just a little bit smarter than children.
If you don’t punish and reward them when they are little, then they get shocked when they see that the world doesn’t follow their whims.
Those abused as well because they did not develop pain and pleasure-driven values.
To teach them you can only give them an example. if you want to teach them to love, love them. if you want to teach them to trust, trust them.

Adults
it’s not just working, cleaning up your crap, not being an ass, managing finances.
We understand that you cannot buy love from parents, friends, and respect from colleagues. if you force people to do it, they do the opposite.
And we do things that are right (e.g. we don’t steal even if they wouldn’t catch us), not for validation or satisfaction.
We love not because we want it back like kids do, but we do it regardless. just as the boss takes the blame for employees, friends who tell you what to hear even though it pisses you off.
And our value does not depend on others, validation comes from within.

Blue dot effect

we tend to see negative things that were there even if they aren’t there anymore. and we are never 100% happy when we reach the next level
in one test they show a lot of blue dots, then change them to purple and people keep seeing them blue even if they aren’t.
Similar experiments have been made. the brain gets used to seeing a% of cases of a certain type, and if they disappear it continues to see them again.
And for this reason we see as “trauma” a simple offense (while trauma are sexual abuse or serious things), or we see dangers when in reality there are none.
And this is the paradox of progress because even if things improve, it does not seem to us.
And therefore also for this reason the brain is never happy, we are always a little happy and a little sad in any environment.

Happiness is not a virtue, but limit ourselves is a virtue.

seeking happiness and having an easy life only makes you more sensitive to problems
they knew very well about the blue dot, and therefore that there was no point in seeking + happiness.
Suffering (or also call it sadness or anger) is a constant condition of the human condition, so protecting yourself from these sufferings makes it worse because you increase sensitivity to these sufferings.
Basically whatever you get (peace, prosperity) the mind adjusts itself and always finds something to complain about and looks for new religions and conflicts.
So true happiness is limiting yourself, and choosing what NOT to do.
All the choices we have today come and go, the pleasure doesn’t last. The only way to be free and happy is to limit yourself, for example by blocking emails / fb / instagram in the morning, or going to the gym and sacrificing movies on TV, or waking up early in the morning sacrificing sleep.
fake freedoms like buying things you recognize easily, it takes more and more to be happy until the effect wears off. instead true freedom requires less and less effort to obtain the same joy and meaning.

Life hack is bullshit
winning effortlessly is not winning, it’s just the appearance of winning. without dedication and sacrifice it is only appearance.

Vietnam war and thick quand duc
This monk as a protest against Buddhist religion oppression, he sets himself on fire and burns without batting an eye. considered by the world to be one of the most courageous gestures ever.

Fragile, robust and antifragile systems
fragile are those in which you wanted to avoid suffering.
sturdy when you worked hard instead.
antifragile = system that if you shake it becomes stronger. example: a startup that fools to understand and improve, or the muscles that grow when destroyed.

Suffering according to Buddha: the 2 arrows
a suffering has two arrows: one physical and the other mental which usually hurts +. through meditation we could avoid the second punishment and thus have complete control of the mind.

Inevitable penalty, necessary death
the rich have different sufferings, but they do have it anyway.
there must be death, something to lose otherwise it wouldn’t make sense.

Edward Bernays, marketing genius who gives people what they ultimately don’t want.
in 1920 women who smoked were badly seen.
but I’m here exploits their identity and makes videos with women lighting “freedom torches” cigarettes which proves their independence. in practice it takes advantage of the insecurity of the people who buy what you tell them.
marketing you can also do it by anaesthetising the suffering, e.g. a vacation or drinks or drugs or any distraction.

Consumerism and buying makes you sad
What these things ultimately give you are just distractions, not added values, and even worse because they make us addicted to checking social media, traveling just to post photos.
if you need to be a billionaire, 1.85 and fit to be happy, then you will always be a prisoner of your weaknesses, need for external validation and comfort. And then + options we have and the less we are satisfied when we have more, they are all so similar, and they create anxiety that we have not chosen the best.
The problem nowadays is therefore that we have too many distractions, and make it difficult for us to commit to something.

The world works on emotions
people don’t spend money and make data-driven decisions. uses emotions, seeks confirmation of what he believes.

Plato: democracy not the best
unstable, because you can’t give people what they want. they would not limit themselves and would therefore become slaves.

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