Everything is f*cked — Mark Manson
Book summary 1/3
Pilecki was an heroic person who voluntarily entered Auschwitz and tried to evade people, a complete suicide mission. It was the one who told the outside world the nazis were actually killing jews. Within the prisoners he organized a network of messages in the laundry basket.
Then he was captured, he was tortured for 1 year and did not open his mouth. They sentenced him to death and he said that he lived life so that when he died he could feel joy instead of fear.
He is one of the most heroic people in the world according to Manson.
Today we are looking for heroes because we no longer have the motivation to do things as we once did, we don’t need wars or crazy efforts to live and eat.
The uncomfortable truth
“We don’t count anything, but we need to believe in something.
One day everyone you love will die. Aside from a bunch of people for a while, everything you’ve said and done doesn’t matter. Everything you think and do is just an elaborate way to avoid this truth. We are nothing, we invent our importance and purpose.”
We are interested in things (everyone chooses his own) only because we think that in this way we make sense. We need to do it otherwise our psyche cannot explain why the sense of living.
The opposite of happiness is a lack of belief in this something (he calls it hope / hopelessness).
The opposite of happiness is not being angry, because if you are angry then it means that something matters to you. If you have no hope / beliefs then you have no reason to live in practice.
People who take breaks to look for “life’s purpose” are the ones who are not clear about what it matters or not and how to use the time left.
You can believe in religion or science, in both cases you have a belief that there is potential for growth and salvation (?).
Paradox of progress
we are the longest-lived, healthiest in history but we feel more desperate than we used to be. Suicides are more common among people in safe places.
To have hope we need all of these 3:
1) sense of control we have over our future, in order to strive but know that thanks to this things will get better;
2) have values to fight for;
3) being part of a group that has the same values, otherwise we feel isolated and our values cease to matter.
Self-control and lobotomy
He talks about Elliot who has a brain tumor removed, but comes out without knowing how to perceive emotions and empathy. Losing 1M didn’t give a damn, he wasted hours choosing simple things like the color of a pen, and he was on TV all day not giving a damn about his children’s plays. then he gets fooled by crooks, in business and even by a woman.
She had the same effects as a lobotomy (invented in 35/40) actually calmed people with suicidal manias, but then removed the ability to concentrate, make decisions, have a career, make plans or think abstractly. banned in Russia in the 1960s.
Those who give in to temptations (e.g. fat) are seen as weak. a CEO who sleeps under a desk and doesn’t see children for months is seen as a determined one (good thing).
So we are always looking to improve our discipline and learn more, but we never achieve the happiness we hope for.
the will is not enough to achieve self-control, it is essential to manage emotions.
The two brains
thinking brain = methodical, conscientious, accurate, objective, slow
feeling brain = arrives at inaccurate conclusions but quickly
It seems to us that it is the thinking brain that decides, but in reality it is emotions that generate actions. we don’t do things we don’t feel like doing.
you can’t fight the feeling brain, so you should ally them.